Restoring creativity

I've been practicing stillness in the mornings for a couple weeks and now I feel impatient - "Okay, enough of that. Time to get on with it." This stillness is hard. I know it's valuable, but I just don't want to do it. I want to get things done. So what would I have once I get everything done?

• Satisfaction
• An orderly environment
• A chance to create

Ah yes! Create. And that comes from stillness too. Oh my goodness! I am trying to get things done in order to allow enough stillness in my life to be able to create. I've always approached it this way - "get the work done first and then you can play." But these couple weeks, I've turned it on its head. I've been working on stillness first and then I go and get the work done. And the work is getting done.

By focusing on stillness first, I'm also building up my reserves. I was completely bone dry. No energy, no creativity left. When I started practicing stillness in the mornings, I'd do just fine for a couple hours, but by the afternoon, I felt crushed flat. Now I'm able to keep up my energy all day. I have a feeling my creativity will come back too.

Maybe I really did have it all backwards. Maybe the trick really is to feed the source of the creativity first, rather than get all the work done first. The tell-tale sign for me is sewing. That's my creative outlet. When I'm sewing, I feel so much more whole. Yet it's the last thing on my list. I just can't sew when I'm agitated or feel like I've got too much to do. So I'm practicing stillness in the mornings, replenishing my reserves, getting done what needs to get done and making space to create something beautiful.

It's kind of like the standard financial advice you always get - "pay yourself first." Put money into savings first and then pay the bills on the rest. So I've been taking care of myself first, and amazingly, the work is getting done too.

I used to charge right into the work because there was so much to do. It felt like everything was urgent and had to be done now. I wore myself out racing to do it all. Now I'm getting a better sense of pace and rhythm. Some things do need to be done today. Others can get done sometime this week. Taking time in the mornings has helped me not feel so frenzied. By putting stillness first, I've discovered that there is enough time.